14 felt abandoned, by her mother, by her grandmother by everyone, she missed baby girl. She found herself one night, after drinking lots of beer with 4-Runner, outside a mall at a payphone by herself. It was raining pretty hard. 14 cried with the rain, as many tears fell as raindrops. She was depleted and heartbroken. She had called her best friend collect who was at home safe and secure with her family. 14 told her that she was hopeless and wanted to call the “nine line”, her friend offered to pick her up, but 14 didn’t want to be the outsider anymore… FEELING INCREDIBLY SORRY FOR HERSELF, she hung up with her friend and called 1-800-999-9999 toll free from the payphone. They counseled her on the phone and sent a cab to her.
The Covenant House sent her to
S.A.Y.S. House in Ft. Washington, MD. Southern Area Youth Services, a youth
shelter for runaway and homeless teens. She walked in well past midnight with
her suitcase, which she had gathered when her Mom was not home. It was a small
brick bungalow style house. The house was dimly lit, the furniture looked like
donated furniture, the décor was old and mismatched and it smelled like Lysol.
The man who greeted her reached his hand out to her and they shook hands. He
welcomed her to S.A.Y.S. House. He introduced himself; Troy. He told her she could stay in the bedroom on
the main floor for the night and arrangements would be made in the morning @
6am for her to get a permanent room. 14 was expected to meet in the front room,
the former family room when it was a home.
Troy asked to look her bags. He casually ruffled through her things and
pointed to her room for the night and said; see you in the morning.
Early morning came fast. 14 walked into the front room in her clothes from the previous day. There were 4 or 5 young people there all teenagers; a couple of girls and a couple of boys. 14 sat down with her arms crossed. Troy then introduced 14 to the group. He explained a couple of rules; have to find a job, have general house chores, etc. He asked the others to explain the rest of the house rules. He also explained that this shelter was TEMPORARY…two weeks MAX. Curfew was 10pm…Lights out 11pm. Plain and simple.
Troy then took 14 back into his office to counsel her, asking her what her situation was, how she got to the shelter, why she felt she couldn’t be at home. She explained what happened with enthusiasm; this was someone who actually cared about what she was going through…no one had cared since her Grammy had died in April. It had been a LONG 4 months. 4 months in a teenager’s world seems long anyway, let alone couch hoppin’ and sleeping with whoever paid attention to her and let her drink and pass out with them. She hadn’t spoken to her mother since she left.
When she was taken to her room
upstairs, she walked in and met her two roommates. She put her things away in
the drawers and made her bed with the linens she was given. She talked with the
girls for a bit and felt very safe and understood, even for a moment.
The next day she called her best
friend and she came and picked her up. 14 went to the mall and applied for
jobs. She got a job at Sam Goody’s that same day. 14 was pretty intelligent, had
an innate people skill. She was starting the day after next. Best friend
dropped her off later that evening at the shelter. She reported to Troy that
she had obtained a job and he was impressed. He said most of the kids that come
through the shelter, either couldn’t find a job because they lacked the
interviewing skills or they just didn’t try. This made her feel significant.
Unlike the naught she felt she was two days prior.
14 started her job, met some new friends…boys were always after her, usually 4-8 years older than she. She felt her ability to attract boys/men was a way to survive. So, she worked saved a little bit of money a couple hundred bucks…she also pawned her Grammy’s diamond ring…the ONLY thing she had of hers, since Grammy’s last husband had kept everything of hers and all she could grab without notice was this ring. She pawned it for $50 and never saw it again. She always regretted this, even more as she got older.
Here was the dreaded TWO weeks at
the shelter, Troy explained to her the following morning she had to leave. She
had told him she was going to stay with her Best Friend when she left. There
had been a few girls come and go since she had been there.
SO, there she was packing her
things in the room alone and she came across some sleeping pills her mom had
bought her after her Grammy passed because she couldn’t sleep. There they were
SCREAMING at her…”TAKE ME!” “END THIS BULLSHIT!” “DO IT!”… she did…she took
them all, probably 15-20. She walked downstairs, called her best friend and
told her what she had done and told her she loved her and hung up. She went
back upstairs to lay down, praying and crying alone in the room. She drifted
off to sleep.
Now, you have to remember this is 1988, no caller id, *69 was just starting, but not everyone had it, you had to pay for it as a service if you wanted to use it. The best friend was a detective, intelligent fellow Libra like 14 and she remembered the “nine line”, so she called and told them the situation and luckily they had a system that kept records and told her they would contact Troy at the shelter and notify 911 since they knew the address. Best friend knew how to get to the shelter, but didn’t have an address and didn’t have the number because incoming calls were not allowed and actually blocked.
Let’s Call this SCENE/SCAR;
You’re being admitted sweetheart
Setting: Southern MD Hospital ER
11pm ish
14 wakes up in ER, tubes in her
throat, mom by her side holding her hand. She is extremely groggy, back and
forth into sleep. They keep waking her up. They tell her she has to drink this
“Charcoal” to make her throw up. She protests and they force her to by telling
her if she doesn’t then they will have to put the tube back in and remove it
all that way.
Fade in:
14
Why are you here Mom?
Mom
Because I Love you, you’re my
daughter. Why did you do this? (Crying)
14
(As she cries)Because I have no
one anymore and I want to be with Grammy.
Mom
Stop with all of this nonsense!
14
(With her voice raised) NONSENSE?
Are you FUCKING KIDDING me right now?
Nurse
(Rushes in because of the
yelling) Is everything ok? Do you need anything?
14
I need her to get the FUCK out of
here!
MOM
I’ll just step out.
14
I DON’T WANT HER IN HERE AT
ALL!
A few minutes pass and a
Psychiatrist (we'll call him Shrinky Dink) pulls the curtain back and
introduces himself and sits down. 14 is very groggy and can’t see straight (the
effects of the sleeping pills).
SHRINKY DINK
Why do you want to kill yourself?
You’re a Beautiful Young girl and you’re MOM loves you.
14
I’m sorry, but you clearly
haven’t met MY mother! She’s a selfish BITCH and she’s the FUCKING CRAZY
ONE! (yelling)
SHRINKY DINK
Well, you are being admitted to
the hospital sweetheart.
14
For WHAT? I’m fine…just a bit sleepy! WHATEVER, I’ll
be ok.
SHRINKY DINK
No, we’re transferring you to GW
hospital and you are being admitted to the psychiatric unit for a few days to
make sure you don’t try and hurt yourself again!
14
NO I’M NOT! You can’t force me to
do that! Fuck you! I’m LEAVING!
14 starts to get up and Shrinky Dink
calls for the nurses and they strap her arms and feet to the bed as she kicks
and screams in distress, fear and anger! Her Mom outside of the curtain
watching and crying. 14 glares at her.
14
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT BITCH!
MOM
I love you baby!
14
WHATEVER! No YOU DON’T!
14 was transferred by ambulance
to GW hospital, they sedated her for her ride.
She woke up on the gurney in The
Adult Psych North Unit at GW Hospital, the Medics checking her vitals and
giving her charts to the intake nurse. She was still shackled to the bed.
Fade out:
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